I had been fretting about this morning since getting a call from the Vice Principal/Case Manager for kids with "special needs" at Roo's school just before Spring Break last week. She said the school's team : Principal, VP, classroom teacher and her aid, wanted to meet with both parents to discuss Roo's progress and make plans for the next steps. As I've mentioned in other posts, Roo is not on an IEP. She has an ISP for services she receives from the school district - OT & Speech, and an ILP (Individ. Learning Plan) created by her school. Her team wanted a chance to go over their plan with us and let us know where we stand right now. They want to start meeting every 4 to 6 weeks.
Given Miss Roo's uptick in challenging behavior over the past several months, to a level even beyond what is "normal" for her most of the time, I had pretty much convinced myself that this meeting would not be pleasant. I've heard over and over and over again from many different people working with her how difficult she can be. She's had so many assessments that did not truly assess where she is and what she can do. I take almost all of them with a grain of salt, being careful not to overestimate where she is, while making it clear to those assessing her that she should not be underestimated either. I was feeling stressed out most of the day yesterday, playing a script in my head of what I expected to hear from them and the looks of concern on their faces. I've known 3 of the 4 participants for over 9 years because they have all been there since Nadia started Kindergarten almost 10 years ago. They are good people and it is clear they love the kids they work with; but, even with the best intentions, I fear the worst when going to a meeting to discuss all areas of progress.
Well, let me repeat the title of this post : I truly am my own worst enemy! They are happy with the academic and social progress she has been making and recognize the gains she has made since last fall. They are continually looking at ways to keep her focused and on task and have been willing to be flexible in their game plan. One issue that is not surprising is that now she much prefers to work in the little room upstairs with her aid and making the transitions in and out of the classroom are difficult for her. She loves her fellow classmates but the structure/routine/calm of the resource room environment is what she now prefers. So finding the best way to get her back with the other kids as much as possible, which is their ultimate goal for her (hooray!), is a challenge that will hopefully be overcome in time.
I told the team that I was expecting to hear that the behavioral issues were getting out of control at school, but they all shook their heads "no." I told them things have been worse at home lately, but then we all agreed maybe that's because she has been trying so hard to keep it together during the school day that she needs to release at home. If that is the case, as hard as it is on me, I'LL TAKE IT!
So for now my next game plan is to start whittling away at my fears and other negative thoughts and focus on all the positive that is going on in our lives. I need to divorce myself from my enemy.
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