Introvert vs Extrovert

I consider myself to be a pretty social person.  I'm relatively outgoing and have many friends, but I don't truly consider myself an extrovert.  I usually have to gear myself up mentally before going out for anything grander than a walk and/or coffee date with a friend.   I prefer one on ones to group activities even though I always have a good time either way.  I'm not a big fan of large gatherings unless I know I'll know and feel comfortable with lots of people there. 

Big Sis is definitely an introvert.  When I say that, I am not judging her in a negative way, just saying it like it is, and if she reads this post she will agree with me.  She has a growing group of friends at school and enjoys online chatting or phone calls/texting with many of them daily after school.  She likes to hang with her core group at the mall or in the school building on early dismissal days, but she does not willingly seek out situations that push her boundaries in the social engagement department.  

When I first started reading about Down syndrome, one of the things that stood out to me was the generalization that people with DS are highly social.  A lot of the earlier literature also indicates that they are always happy.  This myth was put to lie in our house early on!   Roo is generally happy but she has ups and downs just like the rest of humanity.  But, she is very social.  She loves to work a room.  After Mass, she will meet and greet as many people as possible and her favorite part of the service is the "sign of Peace."  She loves shaking hands with people in the pews all around her.  She also talks to everyone we meet, whether they want to or not(!).   A sweet thing has been happening each week as we wait for her appointment with her speech therapist.  There is a man who uses a wheelchair who has a session with a therapist just before Roo's time.  He comes out of a room off the waiting area while we are in there.  I think he's a stroke survivor because of his difficulties in articulation and intelligibility.   Roo always talks to him and he tries to talk to her as well.  It is lovely to see the look on his face when he sees her there.  His eyes light up.  I love those moments, when two people make a connection, and a bond is created.  It's magical.  Roo often has that affect on people.  It is one of her many gifts.

One issue that has come up recently is her tendency to want to go home with other moms and dads wherever we are.  She loves the other kids' parents at her Yoga class and also a dad who comes with his daughter to the speech clinic the same time as us.  She will run up and give them a hug and then say she wants to go home with them.  Not sure how I feel about that.  On the one hand it's lovely to see a happy, socially engaged child; on the other, I will have to fear constantly that she might go off with a stranger.  Add that to my ever growing list of stressors!  I've always felt there is a fine line in what we teach our children.  I tell my older one that there are far more good people in the world than bad, but sadly, the "bad" ones get most of the press.  I want both my girls to go out into the world and meet wonderful people, have long term, enriching friendships, and feel safe in their communities.  That is the least any of us should want for our kids. 

When Roo was around 3 years old, a therapist working with us told me that if she had to pick between academic ability and social ability for a child with a disability, she'd pick social over academics.  I want a good mix of both.  I want her to have the skills to live and work as independently as she can, but also to feel that she is a valued member of her community and to feel comfortable interacting with a broad range of people.  Who wouldn't want that?