Fighting the Good Fight

I must admit that the R-word was not really on my radar before I had my sweet little miss.  I'm happy to say that my righteous indignation towards anyone belittling a person with a disability for any reason, has grown exponentially since she came into my life.  I'm thankful for that.  It's not that I didn't care before, it's just that in my little corner of the world there weren't that many people with disabilities that I interacted with enough to take the time to take notice.  Or at least not "noticeable" disabilities.  I don't know why that was the case because now I seem to see people everywhere and it is not at all uncommon for me or someone else in my family to spot a kiddo with Down syndrome out in the community so much more than before.  I consider that new enlightenment a blessing.

What doesn't always feel like a blessing is when my teen is faced with the R-word coming from kids in her class, the hurt she feels and her struggle to figure out what to do about it.  I have talked with her many times about this and what we came up with is this : she of all the kids in her class has the absolute right to get in another kid's face and tell them to stop it, that using that word is hurtful to her and that it's just not okay to use even as a joke.  These are 8th graders, mind you, and they are at an age when they are at the crossroads of truly being able to understand the ramification of their actions.  I have known these kids for years and I know in my heart that the kids who have thrown the word around did not intend to use it to hurt my child, her sister, or the other beautiful young lady in a lower grade in the school who has Down syndrome.  They're not really mean kids, they just don't think.  

When my teen heard a boy in her class use the word as an insult hurled at another (typical) boy in the class, she told the boy to stop it in a loud voice.  She told me that she doesn't think he heard her and that felt worse than even hearing the word spoken because she had finally gotten up the nerve to speak up and her words weren't heard.  That is a huge step and I'm proud of her.  If we do nothing, nothing ever changes.  If a person is not called out in regards to their actions, there is little hope they will change on their own, unless, God willing they grow up and out of their immature ways. 

Not the best way to wrap up her many years at our nice little parish school, but a good lesson nonetheless.  Her teacher gave her the opportunity to talk one on one with the boy at the end of the day, to express how she felt and to accept his apology.   Apparently he was really upset at what his "joke" had caused when he saw her pain.  We can always hope that change can come and that kids can learn from their mistakes and become better people as a result.